gonna nerd you so hard
i have gone back in time with someone. this is not a joke. i got paid after we got back. i had to bring my own weapons. safety was not guaranteed. i have only done this once before.
Client: We love your WordPress theme designs. How much would it cost to have you do themes for us? We would be giving you pretty regular work, maybe as many as a couple a week.
Me: Well, my usual fee for a commercial site would be $1500 to $2000 but if you’re going to be bringing in consistent…
“I understand that you prefer to use photoshop, but we don’t feel like that program is universal enough. If you could do all of the design work in Microsoft Paint it would be easier for us to edit what you do and give you an idea of the changes we want.”
Phone conversation with an acquaintance of my boss. They wanted to host a server with all of the music they’d copied from CDs, pirated or downloaded from iTunes.
Me: ”Legally, I need to sway you from starting a website that charges people to download all of the music you’ve copied off of your…
A client was upset that the animated .gifs from his site weren’t animated when printed out. I tried to explain that it simply wasn’t possible.
Client: Why are you lying to me? I know it’s possible - have you not seen the moving posters and pictures in Harry Potter!?
Me: “How can I help you today, ma’am?”
Client: “Is e-mail internet”?
Me: “I beg your pardon?”
Client: “Is e-mail on the internet? I have no internet, can I still read my e-mail?”
Me: “Well yes, you must be able to get online to view your e-mail.”
Client: “Oh, dear. I can’t see my…
Client: “That logo looks awesome, thanks! We’re going to go with that design.”
Me: “Great, I’ll put the high res files on a CD and drop it off to your office this afternoon, and you can write me a cheque for payment.”
Client: “Yeah, I wanted to talk to you about that. We think that instead of…
Client (after telling me the idea for the website): How much will that cost?
Me: Well, you’ve given me a lot of info. I’d like to organize all of these ideas and get back to you with an appropriate quote.
Client: I’d like to get it going as soon as possible. How’s $250?
Me: Uh… that’s a…
Client: “On that map of Maryland graphic… can you get rid of that jaggy thing? My client doesn’t like that.”
Me: “Uhh, that’s the Chesapeake Bay.”
Client: “I don’t think it’s part of Maryland, plus it’s annoying so delete it.”
Me: “Yeah, it’s definitely part of Maryland.”
Client: “I still…
